Aitah for not understanding and shutting my mom out after we were told the reason for their divorce.

Edit: For what it is worth i mentioned this in many comments and replies. My father next asked my mother to leave her job or reduce her hours. The plan was always to have him reduce his hours because he wanted to spend more time with grandma. I always intended to provide 56 hours per week of home care through a local agency at my expense.

I see the confusion this was not supposed say my father next asked my mom. Meant to say never in place of next.

For those wondering why I don't move back home and care for my grandma. My dad would not let either of us my sister or I move back home if we willfully left our jobs even for something as noble as caring for our grandma. Moving back onto our family house would be an option.

So essentially I would have to find a job that is flexible but pays enough for me to live cause my dad would not let me live with them. I would also have to sneak into the house to care for my mom. He would nor support me either so cause that defeats the entire purpose of him getting to spend more time with grandma.

That is major factor why moving her to PA makes no sense coupled with the fact my hours are wonky. Just last Friday I had a 16 hour day and sometimes I am on call depending on what is going down at the plant.

Biggest hurdle is my dad would even accept that kind of help from either of us. Financial help is one thing but even that he is hesitant to take but understand it is nesscary.

Yes, I will be the first to admit no matter what he claims some level of care will fall on mom just the nature of sharing a space. That being said it was not a perfect solution but i was always going to provide those 56 hours I wish I could have done 84 but that was far outside my budget. I told them I would gladly line up my PTO so they could go on vacations. Sure it would not be as frequent as they may have liked but it is all I could do.

My parents are getting a divorce and I am not sure how to handle it. The reason imo is petty my dad wants to take care of grandma. My mom wants no part so she filed for divorce. I respect she has the right to end tye marriage. Part I do not know how to handle is the fact she wants me to accept her reasoning. I cannot, I genuinely cannot look at her the same. She is leaving my dad to handle this alone because it is not what she signed up for. I cannot accept that.

My dad wants me to let it go and understand where my mom is coming from. Thing is I do not understand. My sister is calling me out because I am acting like a child getting upset with our mom for not wanting to spend her time caregiving or financially supporting someone when they should be considering their own retirement.

They had plans to travel when they retired but if my dad takes on the responsibilities of taking care of grandma that will most likely not happen.

I get where our mom is coming from but our dad has always been there to support us whenever we needed him and she just leaves when it becomes less than ideal.

Idk I do not think it was an easy choice for our mom but I also don't think it is rigjt of her to leave our dad hanging like that because she wants no part of eldercare.

I get it my mom has alwaya told us she does not want us to care for her in her old age. She grew up in where that was the norm but difference is her family took advantage our dad has been nothing but supportive.