Am i over reacting my gf won’t respect my boundaries

my gf (21f) and me (25m) have been dating for 7 months and since the third month she has been really persistent in wanting to do anal and won’t leave me alone about it. whenever we are cuddling she tries to slip her hand down my trousers and put her finger in there and it makes me uncomfortable i’ve told her i don’t like it and i don’t want it to happen but she keeps telling me to keep the idea open whilst actively trying to do it.

the other week she also purchased a sex toy with the intents to use it on me ( i think you can tell what it was) and i shut the idea down immediately. i’m not uncomfortable with her using toys at all but the fact that she purchased it with intent to use it on me specifically really upsets me and hurt. i felt betrayed and i don’t know if i should be this upset. she tells me it’s not a big deal and i flipped it on her once and asked if it’s okay if we try it on her and she said no and accused me of disrespecting her body and refused to speak to me for a while. eventually she came through and we spoke about it and i apologised. i just don’t understand why it’s such a big deal when i ask her but when she asks me and tries to perform an*l on me whilst cuddling or whilst being intimate i’m told that i’m being silly and that it’s normal and i should just accept it. i really need help on what to do as im stuck but am i over reacting?