My boyfriend’s age is becoming a potential problem.

He was in his early 40s when we met, we are twenty years apart. At first I couldn’t tell because his ethnicity made him appear much younger.

Fast forward some years and we are deep into a relationship that is very hard to let go of. He would have been perfect if he was just ten years younger.

I have a growing desire to get married and have kids, but he is not financially ready and I’m assuming neither mentally ready for that next step in life.

It’s a growing concern to know that he could be a senior citizen when our child becomes a preteen. Also, it worries me sick that it will be guaranteed that I will be widowed for a minimum of 20 years if I am lucky.

But he doesn’t seem ready to make such commitment and it makes me think he just wants to keep his options open. He says he wants to be financially ready before considering marriage, but that is not a requirement for me. He’s been previously divorced, but that was two decades ago.

If he isn’t that certain, why waste precious time and just cut ties? Especially knowing we may not want the same things. I’ve tried ending the relationship, but he won’t let me go. He shows up to my place as he must see me everyday.

At this point I think I’m just a placeholder in his search for perfection? Not sure which direction to take.