Getting back together after cheating - any advice?

My ex and I broke up in October after he cheated on me and acted extremely unremorseful about it. I went no contact with him at the end of October and we didn't speak for two months (caveat that he tried to contact me a few times and I did not reply).

At the beginning of January he asked me if we could talk because he wanted to tell me something - I assumed he was going to tell me he met someone already because 1) it seemed like he wanted out of the relationship really badly and 2) he's a bit of a serial monogamist.

Wanting to just get it over with, I said yes but only a phone call, nothing in person.

Instead he spent the phone call telling me how awful he feels about what he did and how he's spent the last two months trying to grow and learn, meditating and seeing a therapist. He sees now that I am the perfect person for him and the only one he wants.

My response was extreme skepticism. I have agreed to do some couples counseling with him, but I also was honest with him and said I've been seeing someone I like and I am not sure how to move forward. Our first session is next Thursday.

He has a lot of growth to overcome besides the cheating. For context, last year he went through two traumatic experiences, both of which he did not handle well and spiraled. It doesn't excuse what he did. He also has substance issues (weed and alcohol, no hard drugs) that I feel are not the main problem but contribute a lot to his unhappiness and when he acts out recklessly.

I love him deeply and always will but I am not sure if that love is lost for good because of what he did. If I could be with him I would but I feel like he broke us.