Lost weight through a traumatic breakup and it retriggered my ED

My partner of 3 and a half years cheated on me in October in a really public humiliating way. I felt so betrayed and upset and totally lost focus of everything. We lived together and once he was fully out I had no appetite, I could barely take a couple bites of anything. I started surviving just on chocolate milk and the occasional hard boiled egg. I ended up losing about 15 pounds in total in just under 3 months, which didn't put me UW as I had gained weight during my happy (so I thought) relationship.

I realized I felt really good about myself and hot and attractive at my new weight. Then, that was "confirmed" (in my own self esteem issues way) because I started dating again and men started giving me a lot of positive attention. I think this has more to do with the confident vibe I was giving out, less so with my weight specifically. But the two became tied for me.

Now, my ED is coming back because I equate value / someone wanting me to that weight loss. Even my ex is trying to come back around right now, telling me he still loves me and wants to marry me. I haven't counted calories in over 10 years and I'm starting to again. I also am drinking more because I am still depressed so I'm compensating for the drinking with eating less.

Not sure what the point of this was but I had to share with people who understand because I feel slightly insane and I don't want to tell my friends.

I am in therapy and it's helping.