Ramses: Performative Activism at Its Worst
Ramses is a perfect example of what happens when people engage with progressive ideas in a shallow, performative way—usually from trendy Instagram posts. His understanding of feminism is full of contradictions. He talks about helping around the house as if it’s a favor, instead of doing his part as someone who lives there.
Even worse, Ramses represents the kind of ‘male feminist’ who uses these ideas not because he believes in them, but to fit in with certain groups or get attention. He throws around buzzwords and talks about social issues, but lacks the depth or genuine commitment to back it up. It shows how lazy some people are when it comes to studying and truly understanding the values they claim to support.
This gap between his words and actions is even clearer in his personal life. Despite talking the talk, he refuses to use condoms, putting his own pleasure above his partner’s health and needs. It’s obvious he isn’t living by the principles he claims to support.
The military
Ramses knows that his partner spent almost a decade in the military, yet he seems to want to minimize her life experiences, which feels like a subtle form of negging. It’s as though he’s trying to dismiss an essential part of who she is—her friendships, her past, and even future events related to that chapter of her life. He’s ignoring a significant piece of her identity, which undoubtedly shaped her into the person she is today. These kinds of experiences mold someone, and I’m sure she’s proud of what she’s achieved. Naturally, she would want a partner who celebrates that pride, not one who tries to overlook or downplay it.
So why choose her if he doesn’t appreciate these aspects of her life? It feels like he’s more interested in shrinking her and dimming her light, rather than embracing the whole person she is. This kind of behavior isn’t about love or partnership.
What means being performative in this context @wilmadafoe
“(…)Performative just means that you profess something that you don't demonstrate in your own behavior. He may actually want to be the things he claims to be, but his behavior towards Marissa (specifically with the condom conversation) demonstrates a lack of follow through in his values. I don't think he's a bad person - I don't know him. But I do think that he was being judgmental towards her regarding her military service. What was the purpose of that conversation? We have no idea how much they did or didn't talk about Marissa's military past, but if it's something that is such a strong value for him, to the point that he's willing to divorce her if she joins the reserves, then HE should have brought that up in the pods. If it's a dealbreaker for HIM then it's his job to mention it.
And I totally agree that you can fall in love with someone who has opposing views, but the mature thing to do is to decide what you can live with in a marriage and what you can't. I don't think that either of them have really answered that question for themselves. Honestly I think that's true of the entire cast lol. But it's good TV!”