Did Neville doubt going to Barbados?
I have collected all (I think) Neville's texts regarding his journey to Barbados.
- Excerpt, Awakened Imagination & The Search (1954), Chapter II: Sealed Instructions
- Excerpt, Thinking Fourth-Dimensionally
- How Abdullah taught the Law, audio transcript
- Neville Goddard - Abdullah - Gods Law and His Promise - A Powerful Talk - Part 2 - without music, audio transcript
If you combine them you can see that it took Neville about a month, Neville told Abdullah of his desire in "late October" and got the letter from his brother Victor on the 4th of December. He's also said it took "within a month".
However, the very day before Neville got his letter it seems that he was doubting.
He said:
"On the 3rd of December I stood before Abdullah and told him again I was no nearer my trip. He repeated his statement, "You are in Barbados.".
"About three times I tried to open up the discussion with my friend Ab between that moment when I first talked to him and the end. He would never discuss it".
(Presumably referring to the 3rd of December)
"He said to me “Who said you are going to Barbados!? You are in Barbados”, “We can’t discuss how you're going to Barbados when you're already in Barbados” then he walked straight to his room and slammed the door in my face which was not an invitation to follow him. If you knew him that's how he taught me."
(Presumably the night of the 3rd of December)
"I am asleep as though I am in Barbados and when I went to bed though in New York City I had assumed that I am actually in Barbados and see New York City not under me but to the north of me 2.000 miles and I woke within 48 hours after that moment and under my door was a letter from my brother Victor"
Perhaps that was the moment of conception or I don't know how long air mail from Barbados to NYC took in 1933 but I imagine it's deposited and waits for delivery. Meaning maybe days/weeks? So it must have been "done" even earlier?
"On the morning of December 4th, having no job, having no place to go, I slept late. When I got up there was an air mail letter from Barbados under my door"
"Well, I was so excited… I rushed on down to the Furness Line".
"I rushed right up to Abdullah, and I said, “Ab, I got my ticket for Barbados, but I have to go Third Class.” I’m all elated and happy about it."
"He said, “Who told you that you are going to Barbados? And who told you that you went to Barbados Third Class? You went to Barbados, and you went First Class.”
"He isn’t even happy that I’m going to Barbados now."
Neville talks about his excitement here which in a way illustrates disbelief.
Does this mean Abdullah imagined for him or did his apparent doubts/disbelief not actually matter that much?