Fascination towards BDSM porn

So before my marriage, i used to identify myself as submissive etc. And I used to be brainwashed watching clips of women dominating men n commanding them. This made me to get attracted towards Dommes and started meeting then n taking sessions. I was so addicted to this culture that i thought that i will be a submissive forever and no woman will respect me. Later post marriage i stopped all this but the thought process of this made my mind still worse. So i started watching porn and spoilt my mental balance and my wife discovered it. She was disgusted ar this thought of kinks of being submissive dominant etc. she said if love really exists n intimacy exists such twisted fantasies do not have a place in marital lives. What do you all say folks?