“My cellphone isn’t working, fix it!!”

I work at a mountainside hotel as an FDA. We’ve had several older groups (ages 60+) come in the last few months on ski trips.

All of the guests in these groups tend to be very fussy and old-fashioned, which of course means I deal with a million complaints and niche random requests every day they’re here.

Cut to last night, the front desk is quiet when an older lady (OL) comes up holding her phone in her hand.

Me: Hi ma’am, how can I help you?

OL: My phone isn’t working! I can’t hear anything! (Holds out her phone to me)

Me: I’m sorry to hear that… (wondering WTF she wants me to do)

OL: Well you young people must know how to fix it, you work with computers all the time!!

Me: I’m sorry, I’m not very good with tech, I don’t know what I can do for you. (Mind you I’ve worked several IT jobs, I simply don’t want to deal with this lady.)

OL: Well can you at least take a look because I need to take a call…

Me: (internally cursing her bloodline) …Have you tried resetting the phone?

OL: Yes, it didn’t do anything!

Me: Well, I’m not sure what else I can do then. Maybe make sure you’re not connected to any Bluetooth devices?

She insists she “doesn’t even know how to do that”, “what does that mean”, etc. etc. I show her how to open the Bluetooth menu and turn it off. She’s not connected to anything. When she toggles the Bluetooth back on she starts clicking EVERY device in the bluetooth menu. Repeatedly.

OL: Restaurant TV? What is that?!

Me: That’s the TV in our restaurant, ma’am. Please stop trying to connect to it and turn your Bluetooth off. That’s all I can do for you.

At this point she just stares at me blankly, I give her a smile, and she walks away without saying anything. I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly saw my brain. You can’t make this shit up.