-- Nostalgia and my "need to end things properly" are fueling this weird feeling for years- Should I act or give up?--

(I dont really have much experience with Reddit and online forums in general, for lack of better term. So I am sorry for my miss-understandings and etc.)

So back in 2018, when I was still basically a teenager, I met two friends on Telegram. They were both girls, were older than me, and we talked a lot for like 2 years. (Lets call them "A" and "N") Quite frankly, they were my only female friends back then, which deepend my relationship with them even more. Since all of my other friends did not have/could not give a more "female" look on certain things and problematics.

That was also my first time, and basically last time, doing RP (It was not like sexual or something.) . It was really fun and in general, even if it was more "girly" then I would like it to be, it really meant something back then.

I was helping them with their problems and they were helping me with mine. Occasionally they gave me some really good advices about girls in general. Those summer days and nights were full of funny instances and situations. Some were also really serious. But nothing was stopping us from having fun and just relaxing together. We were celebrating everything together.

However it all crumbled one day without warning. First: Those girls stopped talking to each-other. I was trying to do some damage control, but it was not really effective to be honest.

Have I ever met them? Well I did met one of them. The "A" girl. But she was really quiet. Which was weird considering amount of her pro-activity in chats.

Eventually some time after that we (me and "A"-girl) had a debate, first serious one. I did not stand-down with my position there, and therefore it, the whole relationship, died before my eyes because of it. It was my fault.

The other girl, "N"-one, actually remained in my "circle" for quite some time after, before leaving eventually as well. It was perhaps really clear for her, that our conversations just werent fun anymore without "A". So there was no effort from her side.

--- They really were my best female friends in my entire life. Even considering fact, that most of our interactions were online. It meant something for me.

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During september Ive actually tried to contact "A" girl again. It was successful, but chatting with her felt really different. She was acting like a new person. Well... There were 3 years of basically no communication. So it does make sense. However my efforts to meet her irl failed because of my own problems and other things.

Chatting with her felt cold. It was not like it was before and I was fully aware of that. I still wanted to meet her and end it properly. I wanted to apologize for my rudely rational position in that debate personally, which lead to end of our relationship.

Even if she is not the same "A" as she was before, I wanted, and I still want, to end it decently. I dont think things should end this way. But perhaps I am too attached to past...

(I must say for the record, that I have really small, but awesome, circle of friends right now. However I still sometimes think about them with nostalgia.)

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--- Should I just let it go? Should I try to contact them again?

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Thank you for every reaction. :D I am sorry for my perhaps insufficient english.