Losing confidence

When I first graduated basic. I felt like I was on top of the world. Then I went to AIT, as a 68W combat Medic I tackled everything with fervor and a healthy layer of caution.

Now in the big army I am rotting away at the BSB. I feel utterly defeated. As a PFC my leadership refuses to give me tasks. My squad leader does not listen to me at all. Everyone I've made friends with is leaving or gone already and the only people I get consistent interaction with is the gymbros, who I do not fit in with due to my bookish nature. I have never felt smaller or less useful. I am falling apart mentally.

Nobody will respond to any grievance I bring forward with any seriousness and I'm constantly fighting for the opportunity to even pretend to practice medicine and it never comes.

I feel disrespected by my peers and ignored by my leadership and my medical skills are disappearing rapidly, especially IV sticks which I have fallen woefully behind on.

All we do is light PT and sit around and get our barracks inspected. The only time an NCO or an officer comes forward to train us is to do a financial brief or go over things such as land nav and face paint. Being assigned to the Evac platoon has made me lose all confidence in my abilities as a soldier, and especially as a medic. I don't even know where to start to build back up. I am losing my grip.