Life feels like a nightmare

I don't see any hope for the future. I just bought a used car with my savings. I felt pressured to get it by my family. Please someone help. There's also just so much going on I feel helpless and hopeless. Plus I have terrible perfectionism which makes me feel like either I must be perfect or I should not be alive. So like I already have a million problems in my life. Then I have msyelf as another problem telling me either I should be perfect or die. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore. Please someone help me or give me advice. I used to watch all these motivational YouTube videos about being a hero and being this amazing person. But I feel like the perfectionism from those YouTube videos keep me from doing the things I actually need to do and keep me from being the person I actually need to be. Because it's so paralyzing to figure out like, "well how do I be a hero?". "Well what makes someone revolutionary?". Also, another thing that makes my life hell is that I have insomnia so sometimes I'll just sleep one time in one week.