White Coat Syndrome without the White Coat

MY BP has been high at the doctors for years and then normal at home. I've developed severe anxiety in around blood pressure monitors in general. I can start taking my blood pressure feeling somewhat relaxed, heart rate at 70. I start my monitor, by the time I'm done, my heart rate sky rockets between 90 and 100 and of course my BP shoots to 170/90 ish... I've relaxed enough for it to be 137/90 but that's the lowest I can get, all with still some anxiety coursing through my veins. I'm seeing my doctor tonight and I'm sure she's going to tell me I need to go on meds.. but how can I? I don't know if I even have hypertension. All I know is that I have an irrational fear of the monitor and knowing my readings. When I'm not thinking about it, my Fitbit tells me my resting heart rate is 63bps. My cardio health is above average. All my blood work is in range. I'm looking for recommendations. I'm a 54 yo female, regularly exercise (pilates/yoga/resistance training), eat a whole food diet and my salt intake is already low, but I have 40lbs to lose. I'm in the process of doing that. I'm not longer snacking and lost 7lbs in three weeks. I don't know where to go from here.