I just leave her to cry

Currently under investigation for postnatal depression, hopefully going to get a treatment plan on Monday. I get into moods where I can’t stand my 8 week old. She’s just constantly crying and wanting to feed, or wanting to be on me all the time and when I get into a low mood it’s the last thing I want. I physically don’t want her to touch me. She’s exclusively breast fed (and we’re trying to get her to take a bottle to give me a break but she won’t), so whenever I pick her up she just drools on my chest and wants feeding. She feeds for 40 minutes until I stop her, then an hour later she wants feeding again. She won’t nap in the day. She ends up over tired and basically a foul baby and just crys and I don’t want to be near her so I just leave her to cry in her cot or pram. And I’m worried I’m screwing her up. But I physically don’t want her near me. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I worry I’m ruining my daughter for my husband by screwing her up. I’d never hurt her but I also don’t feel any strong emotion if she cries. Some people on here feel daggers in their heart when their babies cry, I feel nothing. We tried for four years to have a baby and I’m ruining it. I feel like I’m missing the experience because I hate this so much.