Not allowing someone to see your child

Hi everyone, I've got a question. I had an extremely abusive gardian growing up. She abused me with physical , verble, mental, and sexual. She gave me cigarettes and alc when I was really young, and put my life in danger many times without care. She has claimed to get sober many times but my dad and I just ended up finding her hidden items or she couldn't hide her own actions for long. She still terrifies me and I have nightmares even though I moved states. Im quite dumb at times, and she promised she could keep a secret, so while I was in early pregnancy I told her to not tell anybody and told her how far along I was, this was mostly to stop her from saying how I'd never want a family. Well, she told many many people about the pregnancy anyways. Recently she told me along the lines of "you may not like the things you think I did to you, but I don't want my grandbaby to think of me in the same way, so I'm sober for we can have a relationship." 1. That hurt bc if you were getting sober, why couldn't you ever truly die that for me? 2. People are her job messaged me saying she smells like liquor at work. 3. My bf and I don't want her near our child. Has anyone else just strictly not allowed someone in their family to have a relationship with their baby? Am I being cruel? I'm still traumatized from everything she has done and won't truly apologize or admit to, and I'm terrified she will hurt our baby the same way. How did you go about not allowing it? Does anyone have similar fear with someone near their baby? My bf agrees fully, he's told me he actually wants a no contact order. And his mom agrees somewhat, saying that in the beginning she'll help us but one day my gardian will probably visit. Any tips or stories from you guys?