Grieving the chance to have a normal parent

I've always resented the fact that my mom refuses to see the direction that our parent-child relationship was supposed to go. With the parent giving and nurturing. I was very much parentified by her from a young age, to the point of borrowing or taking money from me. My younger brother on the other hand was babied. In a weird twist, she even borrowed (and didn't return) money from my 20 year old daughter to buy stuff for my 40 something brother on a vacation.

Two years ago I started to resist and change my boundaries. Although it's much more peaceful, I do miss her. We still talk but not in much depth because I've been really clear about certain topics being off limit. I guess I thought we would have a different relationship than this after I set boundaries, and maybe I was still dreaming I could fix her. She's 73 now though and she has started to learn some independence from me and make some friends. It still just feels so backwards because I never got much nurturing from her like she got from me. Just so unfair