Husband’s beloved Aunt verbally assaulted me about our NC policy with our mother-in-law.

Need to get this out to a universe that understands because I’m kind of in shock by a side I never saw before in my husband’s supposedly supportive aunt. We’ve been no contact with his mom for almost a year, we have a 21 month old son. We’ve been invited to several larger family gatherings have declined. Anyway, I’ll get to brass tacks.

Our mother in law’s sister has always been my husband’s favorite aunt and seems supportive to him about his decision to go no contact with the occasional “maybe you should call your mom?” sprinkled in. Yesterday his aunt wanted to talk to me only and when my husband wasn’t home… alarm bells were ringing to me. I called her but when my husband was home since we don’t like secretive requests like that and thought it was off, but I did go in another room and let him know about the situation and if I should call her. He wanted me too since she’s always been so kind and supportive… anyway I call her.

Small talk ensues. I’m thinking this is odd, maybe she just wanted to check in with me since I work a lot of crazy hours and she lives in a different state. My husband does zoom calls with her and I’m occasionally in them. Ten minutes of this goes by but I still felt uneasy since it seemed fake to me.

The phone call turns and suddenly. She starts questioning me about why my husband doesn’t talk to his mother? And I’m caught off guard thinking she’s understood and seems supportive. I say I don’t know because I don’t know what to say. She turned nasty in her tone and I’ve never knew this side was to her… she starts hissing and real angry “don’t play dumb, don’t play dumb… you think this is normal, what can you do to make this right and to help?” I regain my composure in the conversation but am still stunned. She keeps going on, “we’re ruining the family… it’s ruining the family, do I think this is normal?!” This continues and my instinct is to hang up but I can’t I’m like frozen in this loop with her and keep saying, “I don’t know.” Mainly because I was not prepared for this side of someone I didn’t know existed.

She starts on about how he needs to talk to his mother, to have it out with her since his mother has “no idea what she’s done, is sick over this, can’t sleep, losing weight, heart sick etc etc.” there’s more she starts talking about “an intervention, what can I do, what can I do to help.”

There’s a lot more content in the conversation I want to vent about, but need to get to work.

Anyways, it was one of the worst sides of someone I’ve ever experienced. I’m sad for my husband, we thought she was supportive and understood and this whole time she’s been acting as a Trojan horse for his narcissistic mom. My instinct says to cut communication off at the root and I will follow my husband’s lead. Easy since I don’t talk to her much anyway. Sad day for us yesterday, I gave my husband a big hug afterward and told him the just of what transpired. He was in shock too, said she’s never had a mean bone in her body and that she’s been there for him… guess that’s not the case.

Anyway, thanks for listening.