I wanna give up.

I think it just hit me that I’m almost 30, and have nobody besides family and 1 or 2 friends in my life. I get so nervous in social situations and am either silent or overcompensate by over sharing and acting animated and weird. I can tell nobody wants to be around me and I’ve made peace with that but I think people might think I’m rude or that I think I’m better than everyone because of how I act sometimes. I wish I could explain that I feel the exact opposite. Idk what to do and part of me just wants to give up and be alone for the rest of my life, but that would be a horrible quality of life… idk what to do.